Hang Ten

9-19-2012

Venice Beach Hostel, CA

10:00 PST



Ahhhhhhhh, nothing kicks off an international adventure like a little hangover. Good thing it's little, though. I had the good sense to only make a handful of poor decisions last night instead of the possible "all in". But, you know how it goes. One drink leads to the next and before you know it you're easily justifying 30 bucks as a fair price to pay to get drunk with a Dutch girl.

A bunch of us got together to have a few beers before going out last night. It was strange realizing that I was the only American in the lot. Even before venturing abroad, I already feel like a foreigner. It was nice to break the seal on that. I had just the slightest bit of apprehension left in my system about this whole adventure, but all the little things are wrapped up - bank accounts, logistics, etc - and I'm ready to land in Mexico.

The unfortunate part about last night was the uncanny business relationship the bar and the hostel shared. After a few pre bar beers, the hostel "bartender" (who graciously serves you the beer you bought from the liquor store) took us in his car to a specific bar. And by "took us" I mean that he ordered a cab, that we had to pay for while he drove behind us in his white Lexus SUV. Yeah. It was like three blocks. What a dick. This guy, who claims to be some sort of movie star, is very good looking, and also very obviously balls deep into Scientology. I tried having a legitimate conversation with him. I asked him, 

"So you're working three jobs. What's your end goal."

"To transplant into a better body on another planet."

"So you're Mormon?"

It went downhill from there.

This bar he "took" us to was decent though. Other than the sex stalls it was decent. The bar had these bathroom stalls that were outrigged so that you could host the Tijuana Donkey show inside and nobody patiently holding their piss outside would know about it. It's like they just gave up on trying to regulate and just said, "Fine. Just... Wipe it up or something."

The music was highly underrated. There were some incredible acoustic musicians. Supposedly it's THE underground location in LA. It's like the pop culture petri dish. Where new stars are... Curdled? Tom Cruise told us that sooooooo... Unlikely. But they were good. One guy did a bunch of minor key covers of Willy Wonka songs; eyes rolling back in his head. It was pretty rad.

The most important thing I learned last night comes from the Finnish amigo, Alpo. He told me that his father told him, "Life is short, but beer is good." Thanks Alpo. That fixes everything. Then Alex, the British Jamaican countered with his father's advice, "Beer is good, but rum is better." Hold on, Alex. I'm still working on this beer Alpo gave me.

All this beer and I'm a frequent flyer to the pisser. I decide to pull the hippie card and let the next person decide whether or not to flush. Whoops. Hey man. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's clear, no one was here....


Bleh... Time for this headache to make like a tree and scram. Alas, this is the way of the hostel warrior. I think I'll check out the waves and the sand outside and enjoy the day. A taco would be nice.

I think my favorite part about Venice Beach so far were the cute girls dancing on the boardwalk in full-on electric green medical "scrubs". They were advertising "Medical Marijuana Approvals! - Get Diagnosed NOW!!" Awesome. 

"Hi. Umm... Doctor?"

"Yes, Mr. Croy."

"I'm bored."

"Yes..?"

"And uh... My back hurts."

"Here you go.  That'll be 300 bucks."

"Sweet."

Yeah. That and the eighty year-old skateboarding. I'm not kidding. I mean, even if you give the guy +/- ten years for tanning wrinkles and a possible facelift (this is L.A....), he's still well within the eighties range. That's the thing about this place. Nobody grows up. It's Never Never Land. I just know it.

Everyone is on some sort of board here. If they're not on a surfboard, they're carrying it; riding their longboard on their way to the waves.

BTW, I've given up entirely on creating any sort of order with this blog. Once I get to a place where I have some free time I'll be posting past experiences. So don't get thrown off with the order of things. It just is what it is.